Final Step Out of Loneliness

Today we will talk about the final step in expanding our circle of friends. For me, this can be the most difficult step. If you remember from a couple of posts ago, I am innately a very shy person most likely due to low self-esteem issues from childhood. Although I have really worked on this issue for many years and it has improved, it can still crop up at any time. Satan really knows how to bring those self-esteem issues back to the forefront when I let him. He reminds me of every time I’ve failed at something, made a poor choice, spoken before thinking, etc. And his little imps whisper into my ears that I am worthless, can never succeed at anything…well, I’m sure you get the picture. But when I remind myself of what God says about me, all those whisperings flee. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10. Since I am His workmanship and created for good works, even when I make mistakes, it will be ok. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect- He knows that is beyond our capacity!

Back to our expanding circle- the next step is basically connecting with strangers or near strangers. This is even a step beyond last time where we reached out to acquaintances, people we see fairly often but don’t really have a relationship with. Now we are looking for people who we want to connect with. For instance, think of topics or activities that you are interested in. If you love gardening, look for a gardening club in your area or a gardening group on social media. If you love crafting or have always wanted to learn to paint, look for a club or classes in your area. If you love reading, see if there are book clubs in your area. I think you get the picture. You never know who you will connect with over time! Justs be sure that the people you are connecting with are a positive addition to your life (see the above picture).

I really feel as if I should touch on something here. As we reach out to people, there are two pitfalls we may fall into. One is that we hold ourselves too aloof, terrified that we will be rejected or hurt. The other is that we come across as needy or desperate (i.e. I recently saw a tv show where a man was trying so hard to connect with women to date that he came across as needy and weird. I’m sure you’ve seen similar scenarios). Both of these approaches can turn people away before they even get a chance to know you. What helps me so much is to connect first with God and work on my underlying issues that lead to my insecurities. In fact, that’s what I’ve been doing for the last six months. And how cleansing it is to deal with the underlying issues! That is quite a process and one we often can’t do alone. When you begin that journey, just know that it is not an overnight fix. It’s kind of like those 30 pounds I need to lose- much as I wish it could happen in a day or even a week, that is not the case. So be patient and persistent! Press into God- He is there waiting to help you through. Remember: I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Have a great day!

Next Stop In Expanding Our Circle

Next Step

If you remember last time, we talked about reconnecting when we feel isolated. First step was looking at what had been our circle of friends and see if there is someone with whom we can reconnect. Let’s look at the next step. Here is our circle for reference:

The next step is to look at folk who are acquaintances. This can be someone we run into often at a store, the beauty parlor, on social media, at meetings, etc. Think of those people and someone in that category who you feel you may have things in common with. In my case, I looked for people who talked about crafting in my Facebook groups. I love crafting and was starting a workshop sideline. I began inviting them to my workshops. It was a great way to start connecting with new people in a less superficial way. I also reached out to two ladies I knew from fundraising activities when I ran a youth center. I asked about joining their organization as I had long thought that it looked like a great social group in addition to their fantastic community activities. This led to a new friendship with one of these ladies and revitalizing a friendship with the second.

Don’t be afraid to reach out! You never know what others are going through and may find that they too are looking for a friend! If the first person doesn’t respond favorably, try another. Just say, “Okay, Next!” By the way, when reaching out, be casual, not needy if you know what I mean:)

Expanding Our Circle

I must apologize for the long silence! I don’t know where the time went! But let’s get back to our discussion! Last time we talked about getting out of that slump of depression that makes loneliness even darker and can make it last longer. So, I had come out of that slump to find that my circle of close friends was basically gone or at least dormant. I had been so busy and so emotionally drained that I had lost contact with everyone except for my husband. Now he is great, and we have a good relationship, but a girl needs girl time with other ladies!

I should tell you that I am innately a very shy person. I grew up with pretty low self-esteem and it has always been hard for me to initiate contact with others. In fact, let me tell you exactly how shy I was in high school- it blows my mind! I remember having to call the bus station to get times for buses going to the town in which I was going to attend college. I literally couldn’t do it and had my one and only friend do it for me- can you believe it?! I’ve come a long way since then, but it is still a struggle in many situations.

Compounding this was the fact that several things had happened in recent years that undermined my confidence. We don’t need to go into detail, but just know that they had shaken me to my core making it difficult to reach out to people. But I did have contact with one person who appeared to think of me favorably, so I reached out to her to see if she wanted to walk for some exercise. That was the start of a great friendship! Sometimes it just takes that one step to open a door. So, if you are in that position, I encourage you to find someone in your circle to contact.

Take a look at the circle above. When I was a special education teacher, we often used a similar circle with students to help them understand relationships. For us, we will use it to think of potential contacts. You can see that you are the purple circle, and your immediate family is the blue circle. If you are like me, the green may at first appear to be empty or nearly so.

First step may be to look at the green circle and think about who used to be there. Have they gone invisible just due to lack of contact? If so, reach out- ask them to lunch or coffee if they are local. Shoot a text, a message or call them if not. See what happens! There’s a weird thing that can happen with our friends. I’ve seen it myself. Sometimes they are just waiting for us to contact them- not sure why contact doesn’t always seem to go both ways, but it doesn’t. Sometimes we all just get busy with our own lives- like me the last month!! We don’t mean to lose contact, but we do. So, think of who you can reach out to. Now, if that- what may be a scary- step isn’t successful, don’t lose heart- we’ll talk about another step next week! Just remember that you are valuable and important. Here’s a great Bible verse to help you remember that- I know that some days it feels like God is the only one who thinks that, but He is the most important One, so it is ok!

THE NEXT STEP

CONNECTING, Part 1

Last time we talked about using ‘thankfuls’ to help combat the depression resulting from loneliness. Changing our mindset from seeing our glass as half empty to seeing it as half full is the first step towards climbing out of that pit of loneliness. The next step is connecting with others. When we are at the bottom of that pit, often wallowing in the resulting depression, it is hard for us to have any desire to interact with others AND it makes it difficult for others to want to interact with us. I know, that is a bit of a contradiction- being lonely and avoiding interactions with others- but it is so often what happens, or at least it did with me. So, my frame of mind was more positive, but what next? It was time to begin renewing connections with others and/or making new connections.

I remember another time in my life when I was dealing with loneliness. This time, as I rose out of the pit of depression and looked around for connections, I realized that there were several relationships that had actually been very toxic although I hadn’t recognized that before. Sometimes this happens when we are connecting with someone who is just plain toxic, sometimes it is the combination of two personalities that becomes toxic, and sometimes we have to admit that we are the toxic component. So, taking a close look at pre-existing relationships is important from all three standpoints. When the first two conditions are present, it may be very important to either sever that connection or keep a safe and loving distance from that person. When we are the issue, that is a whole other story that we can discuss later.

So what happens when new connections are the answer? How do we do this? That happened with me recently. I had been so consumed with an intense job for several years that I had virtually no connections outside of work. So when I retired early because of health concerns, I found that the only person who was really in my inner circle of close friends (you know, those you hang out with, talk things over with and so on) was my husband. It was time to find a way to expand this circle. And that is the topic for next time!

Remember, I’d love to connect with you either on Facebook (Karen Heinrich McCarthy) or via email at cellebratelife@gmail.com

Have a great week! Until next time…..

A Year Of Time

 

A Year of Time. . . . . . . . . . . .  Steven B. Cloud, Pulpit Helps, Vol. 14, # 2

…Though even thinking on the subject of time may prove discomforting, it is not a bad idea—especially at the beginning of a new year.

As we look into 2015  we look at a block of time. We see 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds. And all is a gift from God. We have done nothing to deserve it, earn it, or purchased it. Like the air we breathe, time comes to us as a part of life.

The gift of time is not ours alone. It is given equally to each person. Rich and poor, educated and ignorant, strong and weak—every man, woman and child has the same twenty-four hours every day.

Another important thing about time is that you cannot stop it. There is no way to slow it down, turn it off, or adjust it. Time marches on.

And you cannot bring back time. Once it is gone, it is gone. Yesterday is lost forever. If yesterday is lost, tomorrow is uncertain. We may look ahead at a full year’s block of time, but we really have no guarantee that we will experience any of it.

Obviously, time is one of our most precious possessions. We can waste it. We can worry over it. We can spend it on ourselves. Or, as good stewards, we can invest it in the kingdom of God.

The new year is full of time. As the seconds tick away, will you be tossing time out the window, or will you make every minute count?

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New Year’s Eve can be an amazing time of family, friends, and fun. But it can also be times of loneliness and heartache. I’m sure we’ve all heard of how suicides and suicide attempts increase around holidays. Depression becomes a significant part of many people’s lives.

If you or anyone you know experienced this side of the holiday season this year, know that you are not alone. As a surprised-to-be-single in my early 50′s, I experienced deep, consuming loneliness at times in the first few years. As a single person over 50 with no family in the area, I found it very difficult to find anyone who had time to go to dinner, or to a show, or any other activity as everyone I knew had extended families and networks of long time relationships that consumed their time outside of work.

Consequently, aside from work, I spent most of my free time home alone. Eventually, my day job and my new home business endeavor kept me pretty busy so that I didn’t really notice the lack of a social-life until the weekends and holidays rolled around. Don’t know why, but Friday evenings seemed to be the worst on a weekly basis, maybe because in the past, when single, that was date night? And three years ago, on New Year’s Eve the loneliness hit big-time; I struggled with Satan’s little imps whispering in my ears things that implied I had no friends- if I did, they would have found time for me; my life had no meaning; I must be a pretty rotten person to have no social life….you get the picture, I’m sure.
For some reason, even though I knew these were lies and I know the Answer, I wallowed in these feelings- crying off and on all day and into the evening. My poor dogs! These weren’t quiet cries, but those loud squalls we hear from young children- ever had your meal interrupted at a restaurant or your flight turned into a nightmare by a screaming child? Those are the ones I’m talking about. Now, looking back, I’m really embarrassed by my behavior! But that day, I almost relished the pain.
But, the good news is that by the following morning, I had my focus back in the right place! I started the day by counting my blessings, and I do have many. A few months before, I had  begun a real concentrated time on Sunday evenings of praying for the world and so collected articles and magazines about concerns around the world. Let me tell you, that is one way to really comprehend the blessings we have in this country. Sunday evening after New Year’s, as I prayed, I realized even more how silly my attitude had been the day before. Was I lonely, deeply so at times? Yes, but was it the end of the world? Did it mean I was worthless? No way! God tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). And it is so true- once I turned my focus back on Him, my attitude changed. Thank God that I have found this solution to life’s problems, because instead of wallowing in depression for days or weeks, it lasts minutes, hours, or maybe a day now.
A few years ago I wrote a poem about how I was feeling. As I started writing it, God revealed to me that one reason He was allowing this loneliness in my life was so that I would understand what others were going through and how difficult it is to reach out when you are in despair. I was an outreach coordinator at my church at that time and God showed me that many people who walk into a church had a hard time getting connected with others there who already had relationships in the church. We sometimes forget how hard it is to be the new person and that many people are very shy and uncomfortable when they walk into a church or other gathering for the first time. If you are a church go-er, please take special note of the end of the poem- it was God’s message to me and the purpose of my desert time.

The Desert of Loneliness

The landscape seems so bleak and bare
In a land where no one seems to care
I look around me- no one is there
The times I feel loved seem so very rare,
That I feel my heart begin to tear.

When out about town or in a church pew
I look around and see them two by two,
These people who would seem to have no clue
Of this desert of loneliness I live through-
Each day such an effort to step into.

I cry to You, my God, – when will this loneliness end?
Your only reply would seem to be, “Patience My friend.”
So I wait, I wait, for the plan You to send
Til one day, my heart you begin to mend.

And on that day, Your plan You reveal,
That You had a mighty purpose thru this ordeal!
That hurting hearts are coming needing You to heal,
But we, their hope too often don’t realize we steal.
Realizing this, I fall to my face and before You I kneel.

Yes, we need to learn how the lost to reach
But even more, to keep them we need to teach-
To all my Christian family, I now beseech-
Step out to greet, to connect, with more than just speech.

Had my life remained full without this distress,
At no time would I have begun to guess
The depth of loneliness others around me possess
Nor how this pain we need to learn to address-
How to show our love to the lonely with Your caress.

So, my God, for this lesson I give You all praise,
My hands and my heart to You I continually raise.
Thank you, my Lord, for the path You had me to blaze
Of showing me how to bring Your Light to their grays.

Have a blessed day and an even more blessed new year!

A Gift in the Trees

‘A Gift in the Trees’ By Cynthia J. Teixeira

God shows his love for us in many ways. Something that may not seem extraordinary to one person might appear as a miracle for someone else. On Christmas Eve 1997, that is exactly how I saw things, though not at first. At first I was feeling too sorry for myself to see anything but my own unhappiness.

The holiday season is a popular time for couples to get engaged. I had been in three long-term relationships by the time I was 29, but none of them had ever produced a marriage proposal. I had always considered myself a loyal, caring, unselfish girlfriend, and boyfriends often told me as much after the relationship had ended. I always seemed to be “the one that got away,” and I began to feel like I was special only once the relationship was over. After a while, I started to feel like I just wasn’t worth a lifetime commitment.

At the age of 29, I decided I needed to take my own happiness into consideration. It took a couple years of dating mistakes, but I finally figured out how to respect my own needs and not just worry about the needs of my partner. That’s when, at the age of 31, I met Paul. He was a wonderful person who didn’t expect me to take care of him. He just wanted to be with me, and he respected me for who I was. Everything felt right between us, and I figured I had finally found a man I could marry.

During our second Christmas together, I thought Paul might propose. On December 22, we ventured onto the topic of marriage. Paul said that he did see himself marrying me, but the timing was not good “right now.” I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. So many of my friends had received proposals and engagement rings, but I had never received either. I was at the point where I figured maybe marriage just wasn’t in the cards for me.

On the following day, December 23, school was canceled because of a winter storm. I knew my students would be as excited as I was for the extra day off right before the holiday break. It would also be nice to have a beautiful, white Christmas. The roads were covered in snow, and the trees were buried under a sheer layer of ice. It was much too hazardous to venture out, so I just stayed inside and reflected on my situation.

By the end of that snowy day, I had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t the proposal I needed. It was simply that I wanted to feel loved and appreciated enough that someone would want to be with me forever. I prayed to God and asked that someday a man would think I was important enough to give me a diamond, the symbol of the commitment that my heart needed the most.

Christmas Eve finally arrived. Paul came to my house so we could ride together to my sister’s holiday party. I was happy to be with him but a little sad knowing he wouldn’t be proposing that night.

By this time, almost all the snow and ice had quietly melted away. I realized that we wouldn’t have a white Christmas after all. It would, however, make the drive to the party much safer.

The gathering was a happy one. My nieces and nephew were a joy to watch as they opened their gifts. Paul and I had a wonderful time with my family. Eventually, after all the gifts had been opened and all goodbyes repeatedly exchanged, we left.

It was a long, quiet ride home, as Paul fell asleep 25 minutes into the trip. The roads were dry and the trees were barren. Yet the stars shone brightly against the black, cloudless sky, adding a touch of beauty to the night.

As I neared my home, a small group of trees caught my attention. They stood out from the rest of the dull, dry landscape. Of all the tress I had passed on my way home, these were the only ones that had any sign of the recent winter storm upon their branches. As I drove, I wondered how this could be. The temperature was much too warm. Yet somehow the branches were covered in an incredible layer of ice. I had seen ice-covered trees many times before, but something about these was extraordinary. This was a dazzling light like I had never seen before.

As I gazed at the beautiful trees, warmth spread through my heart. This was a truly magical moment. No longer was I seeing these winter-decorated branches with the eyes on my face; I now looked upon them with the eyes in my heart and soul. That night — Christmas Eve 1997–the air was clean and crisp, the sky was entirely filled with stars, and the trees…the trees sparkled with diamonds. Thousands and thousands of diamonds.

In my heart I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. I had needed him to show me that there was a man who thought I was worth a commitment, the commitment that is symbolized by a diamond ring. That Christmas Eve, God covered the trees in diamonds for my eyes and heart to behold. It was his way of showing me that he thought I was special and worthwhile enough for an eternal commitment.

As Paul slept quietly in the seat next to me, completely unaware of the miracle that had taken place, joyous tears of peace and self-worth streamed down my face. I knew that I had found someone who would love me forever, and realizing this was more profound and meaningful than any marriage proposal I could ever receive.

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I think most of us, at some time in our lives, have experienced the feelings of the woman in today’s story.  Wasn’t it incredibly beautiful the way God reminded her of His love for her?  Isaiah 54:5 reminds us that, “Your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called. ”  Although we may be alone and lonely here on earth, we are never really alone, because He is by our side every minute of every day.  If you are feeling lonely pangs today, look around for a reminder He has waiting for you, a reminder that He is your husband and your friend.

Have a blessed day!

Flowers on the Bus by Jean Hendrichson

We were a very motley crowd of people who took the bus every day that summer 33 years ago. During the early morning ride from the suburb, we sat drowsily with our collars up to our ears, a cheerless and taciturn bunch.

One of the passengers was a small grey man who took the bus to the center for senior citizens every morning. He walked with a stoop and a sad look on his face when he, with some difficulty, boarded the bus and sat down alone behind the driver. No one ever paid very much attention to him.

Then one July morning he said good morning to the driver and smiled shortsightedly down through the bus before he sat down. The driver nodded guardedly. The rest of us were silent.

The next day, the old man boarded the bus energetically, smiled and said in a loud voice: “And a very good morning to you all!” Some of us looked up, amazed, and murmured “Good morning,” in reply.

The following weeks we were more alert. Our friend was now dressed in a nice old suit and a wide out-of-date tie. The thin hair had been carefully combed. He said good morning to us every day and we gradually began to nod and talk to each other.

One morning he had a bunch of wild flowers in his hand. They were already dangling a little because of the heat. The driver turned around smilingly and asked: “Have you got yourself a girlfriend, Charlie?” We never got to know if his name really was “Charlie”, but he nodded shyly and said yes.

The other passengers whistled and clapped at him. Charlie bowed and waved the flowers before he sat down on his seat.

Every morning after that Charlie always brought a flower. Some of the regular passengers began bringing him flowers for his bouquet, gently nudged him and said shyly: “Here.” Everyone smiled. The men started to jest about it, talk to each other, and share the newspaper.

The summer went by, and autumn was closing in, when one morning Charlie wasn’t waiting at his usual stop. When he wasn’t there the next day and the day after that, we started wondering if he was sick or — hopefully — on holiday somewhere.

When we came nearer to the center for senior citizens, one of the passengers asked the driver to wait. We all held our breaths when she went to the door.

Yes, the staff said, they knew who we were talking about. The elderly gentleman was fine, but he hadn’t been coming to the center that week. One of his very close friends had died at the weekend. They expected him back on Monday. How silent we were the rest of the way to work.

The next Monday Charlie was waiting at the stop, stooping a bit more, a little bit more grey, and without a tie. He seemed to have shrunk again. Inside the bus was a silence akin to that in a church. Even though no one had talked about it, all those of us, who he had made such an impression on that summer, sat with our eyes filled with tears and a bunch of wild flowers in our hands.
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So many lessons that could be pulled from that story! The first thing I noticed was how in the beginning everyone on the bus was shut off in their own little worlds, no interaction between them, just riding the bus everyday to get from point A to point B. Charlie changed that- his joy in the new relationship he had was so big, he was not able to contain it. And as that joy bubbled out of him, the folk on the bus caught it. Eye contact was made, greetings were exchanged and relationships began to form. A boring and cheerless ride became something to look forward to. Joy is, indeed, contagious- I don’t know too many people who, when hearing the joyful chortle of a small child, can keep from smiling or chuckling themselves. It reminds me of the last phrase of Nehemiah 8:10 when Nehemiah tells the people not to grieve because “the joy of the Lord is your strength.” There is a great song based on this verse, a song which has the most joyful melody and makes me smile every time I hear it. (You might want to thank God that this blog is in printed form because I am singing it right now and it is truly a joyful noise! My singing is beautiful only to small children and my Lord:)

The writer in me wants to continue that story, wants that return to a sad, shrunken man not to be the end. In my version, the people of the bus begin to exemplify Luke 6:31 (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you). If I were on the bus that day, I would hope that I would move over to Charlie and take his hand, cry with him, let him talk about his loved one and remember the good times, place my flowers in his hand for him to place on her grave….oh there are so many things I could do. The point would be to let him know that he wasn’t alone, that the whole bus of people cared for him and would walk with him through that time of grief. That we would lift him up when he felt he couldn’t go on, that we would love to hear about her whenever he had the need to remember. That he was no longer invisible to us, nor we to each other…all because of him. Just like one flame in a dark stadium which starts a chain reaction of candle lighting can in a very short time light up the entire stadium, one person by reaching out with a smile or a greeting can light up the whole world when that is paid forward. So, today when you see someone who is lacking joy, be it a crabby sales clerk, or a grumpy neighbor, think of Charlie. Pay it forward with a smile, a greeting, or a kind word- let’s do our part to spread light and joy through our world.

Have a blessed day!

The Desert of Loneliness

Loneliness- by Karen Heinrich Johnson

Holidays can be amazing times of family, friends, and fun. But they can also be times of loneliness and heartache. I’m sure we’ve all heard of how suicides and suicide attempts increase around holidays. Depression becomes a significant part of many people’s lives.

If you or anyone you know are experiencing this side of the holiday season this year, know that you are not alone. As a surprised-to-be-single in my late 40’s, I experienced deep, consuming loneliness at times in the first few years. As a single person over 50 with no family in the area, I found it very difficult to find anyone who had time to go to dinner, or to a show, or any other activity as everyone I knew had extended families and networks of long time relationships that consumed their time outside of work. Consequently, aside from work, I spent most of my free time home alone.

Eventually, my day job and my new home business endeavor kept me pretty busy so that I didn’t really notice the lack of a social-life until the weekends and holidays rolled around. Don’t know why, but Friday evenings seemed to be the worst on a weekly basis, maybe because in the past, when single, that was date night? And one New Year’s Eve the loneliness hit big-time; I struggled with Satan’s little imps whispering in my ears things that implied I had no friends- if I did, they would have found time for me; my life had no meaning; I must be a pretty rotten person to have no social life….you get the picture, I’m sure.

For some reason, even though I knew these were lies and I know the Answer, I wallowed in these feelings- crying off and on all day and into the evening. My poor dogs! These weren’t quiet cries, but those loud squalls we hear from young children- ever had your meal interrupted at a restaurant or your flight turned into a nightmare by a screaming child? Those are the ones I’m talking about. Now, looking back, I’m really embarrassed by my behavior! But that day, I almost relished the pain.

But, the good news is that by the following morning, I had my focus back in the right place! I started the day by counting my blessings, and I do have many. A few months before, I had begun a real concentrated time on Sunday evenings of praying for the world and so collected articles and magazines about concerns around the world. Let me tell you, that is one way to really comprehend the blessings we have in this country. Sunday evening after New Year’s, as I prayed, I realized even more how silly my attitude had been the day before. Was I lonely, deeply so at times? Yes, but was it the end of the world? Did it mean I am worthless? No way! God tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us. And it is so true- once I turned my focus back on Him, my attitude changed. Thank God that I have found this solution to life’s problems, because instead of wallowing in depression for days or weeks, it lasts minutes, hours, or maybe a day now.

A few years ago I wrote a poem about how I was feeling. As I started writing it, God revealed to me that one reason He was allowing this loneliness in my life was so that I would understand what others were going through and how difficult it is to reach out when you are in despair. I was an outreach coordinator at my church at that time and God showed me that many people who walk into a church had a hard time getting connected with others there who already had relationships in the church. We sometimes forget how hard it is to be the new person and that many people are very shy and uncomfortable when they walk into a church or other gathering for the first time. If you are a church go-er, please take special note of the end of the poem- it was God’s message to me and the purpose of my desert time.

The Desert of Loneliness

The landscape seems so bleak and bare
In a land where no one seems to care
I look around me- no one is there
The times I feel loved seem so very rare,
That I feel my heart begin to tear.

When out about town or in a church pew
I look around and see them two by two,
These people who would seem to have no clue
Of this desert of loneliness I live through-
Each day such an effort to step into.

I cry to You, my God, – when will this loneliness end?
Your only reply would seem to be, “Patience My friend.”
So I wait, I wait, for the plan You to send
Til one day, my heart you begin to mend.

And on that day, Your plan You reveal,
That you had a mighty purpose thru this ordeal!
That hurting hearts are coming needing You to heal,
But we, their hope too often don’t realize we steal.
Realizing this, I fall to my face and before You I kneel.

Yes, we need to learn how the lost to reach
But even more, to keep them we need to teach-
To all my Christian family, I now beseech-
Step out to greet, to connect, with more than just speech.

Had my life remained full without this distress,
At no time would I have begun to guess
The depth of loneliness others around me possess
Nor how this pain we need to learn to address-
How to show our love to the lonely with Your caress.

So, my God, for this lesson I give You all praise,
My hands and my heart to You I continually raise.
Thank you, my Lord, for the path You had me to blaze
Of showing me how to bring Your Light to their grays.

If you are in that Desert of Loneliness this year, turn your focus on the One who loves you with a love that will never dim, fade away, or fail you. We are told in Romans 8:37-39, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Sometimes that Desert is just what we need to turn our focus to what is most important. Take comfort in knowing that it won’t last. Mine didn’t. We may emerge from it in a place different than we had ever imagined, into an Oasis of new life. Trust that the Oasis is awaiting and will be revealed at just the right time.

Have a blessed day!