THE NEXT STEP

CONNECTING, Part 1

Last time we talked about using ‘thankfuls’ to help combat the depression resulting from loneliness. Changing our mindset from seeing our glass as half empty to seeing it as half full is the first step towards climbing out of that pit of loneliness. The next step is connecting with others. When we are at the bottom of that pit, often wallowing in the resulting depression, it is hard for us to have any desire to interact with others AND it makes it difficult for others to want to interact with us. I know, that is a bit of a contradiction- being lonely and avoiding interactions with others- but it is so often what happens, or at least it did with me. So, my frame of mind was more positive, but what next? It was time to begin renewing connections with others and/or making new connections.

I remember another time in my life when I was dealing with loneliness. This time, as I rose out of the pit of depression and looked around for connections, I realized that there were several relationships that had actually been very toxic although I hadn’t recognized that before. Sometimes this happens when we are connecting with someone who is just plain toxic, sometimes it is the combination of two personalities that becomes toxic, and sometimes we have to admit that we are the toxic component. So, taking a close look at pre-existing relationships is important from all three standpoints. When the first two conditions are present, it may be very important to either sever that connection or keep a safe and loving distance from that person. When we are the issue, that is a whole other story that we can discuss later.

So what happens when new connections are the answer? How do we do this? That happened with me recently. I had been so consumed with an intense job for several years that I had virtually no connections outside of work. So when I retired early because of health concerns, I found that the only person who was really in my inner circle of close friends (you know, those you hang out with, talk things over with and so on) was my husband. It was time to find a way to expand this circle. And that is the topic for next time!

Remember, I’d love to connect with you either on Facebook (Karen Heinrich McCarthy) or via email at cellebratelife@gmail.com

Have a great week! Until next time…..

God is Like

 

Today I am reposting a poem from a year and a half ago.  It is always refreshing to me to re-read previous posts, especially about times of struggle and see how God was helping me through those times.  I spoke then, as you will see, about a turning point in my mom’s fight with Alzheimer’s.  This December, we did move her to a more intense level of care because of her increased needs.  The upside is that we were able to move her to my town and now my family can visit her often.  She has handled the move better than expected, due in large part, I am sure, to all the prayers that have been lifted up in her behalf.

I hope you enjoy today’s poem as much as I have!

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God is like…
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

God is like…
a FORD
He’s got a better idea.

God is like…
COKE
He’s the real thing.

God is like…
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

God is like…
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

God is like…
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

God is like…
SEARS
He has everything.

God is like..
ALKA-SELTZER
Try him, you’ll like Him.

God is like.
SCOTCH TAPE
You can’t see him, but you know He’s there.

God is like…
DELTA
He’s ready when you are.

God is like…
ALLSTATE
You’re in good hands with Him.

God is like…
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.

God is like…
DIAL SOAP
Aren’t you glad you have Him? Don’t you wish everybody did?

God is like…
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.
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So true, God is all those things and so much more! I am so glad that He is in my life, especially during times of trial. Such times may not be easy, but they are so much easier with Him holding me up, walking by my side, and giving me His strength when I have none of my own. In my devotions this morning, I was reminded of this by the story of the butterfly. Without the struggle to emerge from the cocoon, a butterfly does not have enough strength in its wings to fly. That struggle gives it the ability to fly. Today, I am in the process of emerging from a cocoon of sorts and God gives me the strength to do so. My mother is slowing losing her battle with Alzheimer’s. It appears that yesterday she progressed to the next stage which includes violent outbursts. She will most likely need to be moved to a more intense level of care in a new facility. How thankful I am that God has provided me with a dear friend of my mom’s who has taken on the responsibilities of the official decision-making now that Mom can no longer do so and I do not live close enough to handle the daily needs she has. We work as a team to make very difficult decisions rather than what used to happen when I attempted to do all of this alone. I can give thanks to my Father for this help He has provided and for the lessons I am learning through this trial.

James 1 tells us in verses 2-5: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” In this case, God is giving me that wisdom through Mom’s friend. And I know that the way in which we handle this difficult time in a Godly manner will be a testimony of His work in us- who knows how many lives will be affected for Him? So, I can honestly consider it pure joy to watch what He does through us and through Mom’s illness. I call this looking for the silver lining in a trial- they are there if we look hard enough.

Have a blessed day!

Personality Kudos, Part 2: Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

As you got up this morning, I watched you and hoped you would talk to me,
even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for
something good that happened in your life yesterday, but I noticed you were
to busy trying to find the right outfit to put on and wear to work. So I
waited.

When you ran around the house getting ready, I knew there would be a few
minutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were too busy.

At one point you had to wait fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit
in a chair. Then I saw you spring to your feet,
and I thought you wanted to talk to me, but
you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip.

I watched as you went to work and I waited patiently all day long. With all
your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me.

I noticed before lunch you looked around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk
to me, that is why you didn’t bow your head. You glanced three or four
tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly
before they ate, but you didn’t. That’s okay, there is still more time left,
and I have hope that you will talk to me even yet.

You went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do. After a few
of them were done you turned on the TV. I don’t know if you like TV or not,
just about anything goes there; you spend a lot of time each day in front
of it, not thinking about anything, just enjoying the show. I waited
patiently again as you watched TV and ate your meal, but again you didn’t
talk to me.

As you did your homework I waited again, as you did what you had to do. At
bedtime I guess you felt too tired. After you said goodnight to your family
you plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time. That’s okay, because you
may not realize that I am always there for you.

I’ve got patience more than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how
to be patient with others as well. Because I love you so much, a long time
ago I left a wonderful place called Heaven and came to Earth. I gave it up
so that I could be ridiculed and made fun of. I even died so you wouldn’t
have to take my place. I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, a
prayer, a thought or a thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a
one-sided conversation.

Well, you are getting up again and once again I will wait with nothing but
love for you hoping that today you will give me some time. Have a nice day!

Your friend,
Jesus
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Ouch! How often am I that person? How often do I go through my day without spending time with my best friend? And how amazing that He is still willing to be my best friend?!

Friendship- true, deep and meaningful friendship is the next trait I discussed with my students. So many friendships are shallow, fair weather friendships and my students often had only experienced these. But true friendship is more than just having fun with each other- so much more. Here are just a few of the things the Bible has to say on this subject:

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”

Luke 6:31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.

Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Proverbs 18:24 is my favorite: A man who has friends must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Those friends who stick closer than a brother, the ones who are with us through thick and thin, good times and bad times are rare. They are the ones who can see us at our worst and still love us. They are the ones who love us enough to hold us accountable and tell us hard truths in a loving way. They are incredibly valuable just because they are so rare. My goal is to be that kind of friend and I take my lessons from the best friend of all, Jesus!

Have a blessed day!